friendship

actually wad does friendship really means? i thought i sorted out my doubts durin secondary sch days, but here am i in doubts again. why do friendship exist? does it behave the same as the relationship we hav with our love ones? is it that we can treat everybody as our frenz? or only sch mates and stranger... frenz hav good frenz and best frenz... but if i really treat tat person as my friend who gradually turning into a good frenz... wad do i do if i were hurt by my tat frenz? do i hav to suffer in silence? why do i deserve tat... why do i not get good returns when i treat a person truthfully? do people treat me as frenz when i treat them as my frenz? i dun lky the feelin of being hurt, neither will i hurt ppl feelin but why do ppl can change face faster than turnin pages of books? i juz dun understand. porbably the distance between us is really spacing out double each time... gradually ther will be a hole... and never will i fall into tat pit again...
after thinkin it thr thers actually nth to worry or think abt i juz do my usual stuff and behaves like myself... probably today will be the last day we ever tok... if my tat frenz dun mind neither do i ... i told myself neither do i wan to suffer in agony again... why do the frenz can behave like so happily but i hav to think abt wad i had done wrong to be treated tis way...
probably its also my character bah... if i dun lky u i will never step out the first step to noe ur name and befrenz u.. but if i really do tat means i really treat the friendship bond between me and u really important...
ppl say love some1 is painful but actually being hurt by the frenz ard u hurts even more... probably ppl juz dun tink lky me and agree with me bah... i once thought i was on an isolated island... those really close to me are the coconut trees ard me probably ther may be more than 5 but less than 7 but they are the ones who go thr everything with me...not the fishes ard me which giv me nutrition...


i dun lky to blog stuff like tis... i blog some in my old entries... the process when bloggin is not nice and aft the blog been post makes me even emo... but i feel better tis way... i dunno i will behave emo tml a not... but once a person told me tat she do not feel lky closin to me when she sees my face, but aft tokin she feels the other way round... tat is one i av only a fews best frenz and good good frenz... becus i am like tis... is my horoscope, gene or characteristic?? i dunno... but i will not change for others... i will change for the better but i will not sacrifice my happiness to make u happy... tat is me... if u cant accept tis personality of mine u cant be my frenz... but i wonder why some can...
thats why i love my galfrenz a lot... thank u for being ther when i am down... thank u for sortin my thoughts for me and ask me to dun tink too much... even if some of my galfrenz dun read my blog, i juz wan to tell them how much i love them and cares for them ( pls dun be mistaken, i still lky cute and humour but not childish boys)